i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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