Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
