I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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