Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
