I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My pussy is not your playground.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
