Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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