hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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