i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
