Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
