No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
