its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Two words: blizzard sex
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Dicks are not precious.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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