We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
