Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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