i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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