So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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