i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
