omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
