lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize