fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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