Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
