Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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