If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
