I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one