i jhust puked up my retainher.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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