I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?