so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.