So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
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"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
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Drinking loves me for WHO I am
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
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