I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
