bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
