I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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