Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
