it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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