Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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