Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
