you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
