Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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