She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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