They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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