ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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