if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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