It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
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it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
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We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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