I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
