I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize