can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
