I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
