So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
