His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
