I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
