we're chasing vodka with high fives
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
