the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
pop tarts are not kleenex
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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