I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
