covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Im part way to drunk.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
