I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
