He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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