i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
