Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
