If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
