I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
