So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
