Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
