this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
