Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
