she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Everclear isn't food dammit
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
