There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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