the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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