Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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