Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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