Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
