im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
