I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
