wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
