So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
