so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
