well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
They took my balls.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Randomize
