Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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